Of All The Terrible Things
by heylookitsduda
Summary: A little one-shot, in which Ward tells Skye why, and it is heartbreaking.


**Disclaimer:** I do not own ABC's Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. or any of their characters. _Wouldn't it be super cool if I did though?_

"Why?" Skye suddenly asked, causing Ward to nearly jump.

She had been sitting there for half an hour now, just staring blankly at Ward, so unmoving and quiet that he wondered if she even saw him anymore – which is why he had been so startled when she finally spoke. After the shock wore off, Ward sighed. How many times would he have to explain to these people that he owed everything to Garrett, and it was under his orders that he had betrayed them.

"I've already told you why Skye…"

"No," she said. "I mean _why_?"

Ward looked at her blankly, willing her not to mean what he thought she meant. She stood up from her chair and approached the energy barrier that kept him trapped – kept him from her.

"I mean, I get why May," she willed herself to keep her voice strong. "It only made sense. You were undercover and she was the one person in this team with a very high probability to see right through you. Keeping her distracted was an imperative. The opportunity presented itself and you made a tactical decision – and I'm guessing the sex was a very pleasant added bonus," she continued, proud of herself for not letting any emotion through her words.

"Sky-"

"What I don't get," she ignored him. "Is what you had to gain by getting me to- by getting me," she sighed. "I am no one Ward. I was never going to be the one to see through you. You were my SO for heaven's sake, I trusted you. I am nothing special – there are millions of hackers ten times more talented than me out there. Myles himself is a great example, and we both know he is very easily bought. Me however, we both know I'm not. So why? I have no value to HYDRA. I have no value to Garrett. I have no value to you! So _why_ did you have to start something with _me_ Ward?"

The more she spoke, the more her emotions showed through her words, making her final sentence but a strangled whisper. Ward shut his eyes. He really did not want to go there with her. Not yet. Not when it clearly hurt her. But he made a promise, and he intended to keep it.

"I shouldn't-" he started to explain but Skye cut him off, furiously.

"I am _not_ asking for an _apology_ Ward," she spat. "Don't give me that bullshit! I am asking you why. Answer. My. Question".

"I am trying to Skye. I'm not apologizing," he looked straight into her yes. "When I say I shouldn't I mean, I was not _meant_ to get involved with you."

He gave her a moment after this. As his words sunk in, she backed away from the barrier stopping behind the chair.

"You _weren't_," she repeated.

"You were an unknown factor Skye, but by no means a liability. Garrett never even looked at you twice," he said, and the unspoken _until_ just hung between them.

"Then why-" she gasped, her head reeling. "Why did Garrett have me shot if I wasn't a liability?"

"You weren't a liability by yourself Skye," he apologized. "But from the moment Garrett knew there was something between you and I, you became one".

"Then why," she choked, half wishing she had never asked. She didn't want to hear anymore, but it was too late. She had to. She asked for it. But damned if she ever expected this.

"Don't ask me that Skye," Ward pleaded.

"Why Ward?" She pressed, half-heartedly.

"You don't want to hear it Skye, you know that. Don't make me say it."

At this Skye steeled herself. She was showing too much emotion. She came in for an answer. She would have it, even if she didn't like the answer.

"You promised no more lies," she spat. "Tell me _why_!"

"Because I love you Skye," he sighed, moving towards the energy barrier and placing his hands against it.

Skye braced herself against the chair, thankful that it was there to support her.

"Don't," she choked.

"You asked why Skye," he replied sadly. "And that's why".

Skye just stood there, unmoving and unspeaking. She couldn't handle this now. She couldn't handle this ever. There was a time she would have given anything to hear Ward say this to her. A time when she would have said it back. But that was so long ago, it seemed like a different reality.

Ward could handle just about any kind of rage, but this absolute silence was something he couldn't take after just telling her he loved her. His very last secret, finally told, and it was met with nothing.

"I never meant to fall in love with you," he started, just to fill the immense silence between them. "I am – was – a specialist. I had a mission to fulfil. Emotion had no place in that. But you somehow managed to find your way through every single one of my barriers, every last defense I had. I didn't even know you were doing it until you were already in. Garrett and I had thought of every little thing that could have gone wrong with my mission, you know. We thought of Fury disbanding Coulson's team, of Coulson figuring me out, of May figuring me out, of our communications being found, of HYDRA being discovered too soon, a billion different scenarios. But of all the terrible things we could foresee, we never imagined I could fall in love".

At this, Skye blacked out the barrier between them. She couldn't take it anymore.

And as she curled into a ball and began to sob, she would never know that Ward slid down to the floor behind the barrier and bawled in sync with her, for his love, for her pain, and for the future they would never have.

Of all the terrible things indeed…

**Hey guys, this is my second MAoS one shot and I must say I am in love with writing it. So please guys, if you like this R&R, so that I know to keep writing them. All constructive criticism is welcome. Also, I am posting this at my tumblr, so if you would like to check it out, it is hashtagsforships with the usual ending.**


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